As an avid fan of FPS (first-person shooter) and MOBA (multiplayer online battle arena) games, I have spent numerous hours sitting and facing the monitor. If I were to estimate the period that I dedicated to playing online games in a day, it would be roughly 7 - 8 hours. These lengthy exposures have ameliorated my gaming skills, I reached the highest rank possible and obliterated some of the perilous bosses in the game. Throughout the years of gaming experiences, I raised the standard. For you to be called a "veteran gamer", you need to at least surpass my K/D/A or Kill/Death/Assist ratio. These standards were the culprit behind my alpine edifice of ego. I claimed so much recognition that I forgot there were other gamers, who played more sophisticatedly than me. My ego is fortified, and my self-confidence is clambered, so that no one attempts to plummet. Now, what would this immense ego inflict on my personality? How would this pride corrupt my sobriety, and how worse could it become if I continuously get devoured by it?
WHAT IN THE HELL IS EGO?
I will be enlightening you about this term using a myriad of perspectives. Defining this very word would be exiguous if it's done using only one discipline of knowledge. Hence, I would define ego through the lenses of psychology, philosophy (stoicism), and some notions provided by Ryan Holiday.
The father of Psychology aka Sigmund Freud described ego as he developed his theory of the "Tripartite Division of Men". Where the "ego" is the self, superego, and id. Superego is ethical and the Id is the spontaneous urge, these two are in constant conflict. If the superego won, the ego behaves. However, if Id won ego misbehaves.
In philosophy, one of the flamboyant stoics named Marcus Aurelius yakked quotes that sum up the very definition of ego. He said, "I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others". Ego for him is being self-centered, entertaining one's side or opinion might not be in someone's vocabulary if he is inebriated with ego. Harmony is not attainable when ego prevails.
Ryan Holiday observed that ego impedes self-discipline. It is often a voice in our head that blends itself with pleasant traits. Perhaps one might assume he was just being confident, but if ego is active, it might become arrogance. He also said that in aspiration, success, and failure; the ego is our colossal foe.
He also emphasized the distinction between egotism and alcoholism. The ego is eloquent, it does not falter when it wants to dominate. However, alcoholism is the exact opposite. It is driven by the inebriation of beverages that makes someone lose his temper and assert arrogance.
Out of all definitions, the most perspicuous one is "ego is what separates oneself from". From what? everything!
A GLIMPSE OF WHAT STOICISM IS
This philosophy is about living virtuously. Stoics like Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, and Zeno were the embodiment of how important it is to diligently helm our emotions. Yes, emotions are important to be felt however they must not always prevail. Stoics believe that when emotions take over, it will be a great conundrum. Stoicism emphasizes the inability of men to choose their circumstances. The power lies in how we react. One impeccable example is when you are tasked to do a barrage of school activities, complaining will never make things done. You need to start working and progressively accomplish it. This philosophy also teaches us to deviate from past resentments. As Marcus Aurelius put it "You shouldn't regret your past, especially if you did your best during that time".
EGO IS THE ENEMY: What is it all about?
The previous section sufficiently provided you with a glimpse of the book named EGO IS THE ENEMY. It is written by Ryan Holiday, and it is one of the best sellers and multiple copies were sold worldwide! In this book, he emphasized the three core requisites for suppressing Ego. Surmising that we should be HUMBLE in our Aspirations Gracious in our success, and Resilient when we face failures. This magnum opus of Ryan Holiday tells its readers that our greatest enemy is ourselves, and that is why there is an immense devoir to monitor our holistic well-being.
WHAT ARE THE KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS BOOK?
Reading this book provides a feeling of self-redemption. It is elating enough, that it made me assess myself immediately. It somehow altered some of my defunct beliefs in life. Now that I get the chance to share it with you, here are the Five indispensable realizations from EGO IS THE ENEMY.
1.) ASSESS YOURSELF: to be or to do?
Our life is inarguably a rollercoaster ride. There may be a day when you feel like you want to buy a new phone. A day has passed, and you decided to just settle for the device you currently have because it is still functional. Everything is dynamic, even our needs and wants are not spared. But we need to assess and ask ourselves these questions. Do I need to buy this/that? do I need to engage in the commotion on the comment section (online bardagulan), does it make sense to me? or do I only need to do this because I need others' validation?
Now let us ask this crucial question, to be or to do? (To be) is corresponding to the matters you want to achieve, while there is nothing wrong with attaining things, however, those are ephemeral. (To do) commensurate to purpose. It focuses on the system and the process of achieving things, to do things means we should allot our time to improve without clinging to results.
2.) COOPERATE AND BUILD CONNECTIONS
To be aware of one's skills, expertise, and wit is commendable. Being able to do a barrage of vigorous tasks is even astounding, it boosts one's confidence and self-esteem. However, if this trait is pervaded, even if the task is required to be accomplished by a group or team, it could lead to arrogance.
Collaborating with others is crucial, especially if the task is formidable enough to be done within a constrained period. Acknowledging one's prowess is advantageous, however, we should always remember that we are not the only "capable" in the group. This saying encapsulates the idea, "Two heads are always better than one head". Our ego makes us think that we are overly capable, detracting ourselves from others' company. It cozens us, deviating us from the certitude. We should always remember that "no man is an island".
When things are too many to handle, we should be willing to delegate it to others. In that case, we will not be too much occupied. Freeing up some space in our minds, so that we could think perspicuously to maintain our sobriety.
3.) ONE MUST BE A STUDENT AND SHOULD ALWAYS STAY AS A STUDENT
Learning is a lifetime process. It never ceases when we have finally mastered one concept, instead that one concept proliferates into a thousand more. Learning requires an eternal commitment, that is the most honest claim I could provide.
The book teaches us to be a listener and to absorb information from experienced or competent peers. Perhaps, we could only garner prudent insights from our role models. Being a student is the antidote to ego, while the latter claims that we are the best and we already know everything; so further expostulation is not necessary. But as a student, it makes us open to learning another substantial lesson. As Socrates put it "The only thing that I know is that I know nothing".
One of the quotations in the book that hit me was "As the island of our knowledge expands, so as the shore of our ignorance". It is the veracity when I say, you cannot be better if you think you, are the best. We should become and remain a student.
4.) ALWAYS CHOOSE TO BE ALIVE
Ryan Holiday entailed one of the remarkable authors who is Robert Greene. He said that throughout our lives, we are tasked to choose from two contingencies: To be alive or the be dead. Alive time means the point of our lives where we are active, it claims that spontaneous energies are flowing all over our body, and we could accomplish any tasks within a specific time frame. While the dead time is about blatant stagnancy.
Ryan Holiday used the Life story of Malcolm X as an example. The latter was a former criminal, he caused numerous unlawful tumults for almost half of his life. When he was imprisoned, he realized that there is more to life. He found purpose, during his stint in prison, he read a myriad of books about philosophy, sociology, and history. When he was released, he was asked to be interviewed. Then he shared his ventures, he said that the prison's library became his school and books became his instructors.
When indolence emerges, and when it seemed unremitting our ego is the culprit behind it. The very thing we should do is to be alive, and counter laziness by employing work.
"Effective work is when you choose to stay outdoors when everyone else is indoors" - Ryan Holiday.
5.) LOVE TO ASSUAGE THE BRUISE OF HATE AND ANGER
The word love has multitudes of meanings. But in terms of stoicism, it is the greatest cure for cruelty. They always argue that feeling resentment and hate towards others is just a waste of time. Because we should get angry about the world as if the world cares. The universe's immensity is something that our minds can not fathom. The earth is only infinitesimal compared to other celestial bodies, so is our anger and hate?
One thing that fascinates me is the idea of "we are not big, and also we are not small". We are not big because imagine the vast cosmos, in reality, we are inarguably tinnier than a single grain of sand. However, we are big because we are part of the universe. We belong to this amazing collective reality.
That is why there was the term "sympatheia" which stoics defined as "connectedness to cosmos". Pierre Hadot, a French philosopher referred to this as "oceanic feeling". It is the moment of connectedness to the bigger entity. Sometimes, when we stumbled upon inconveniences and impediments, our unpleasant emotions abruptly take over. To some extent, it devours us, intoxicating our minds until we are completely helmed by its nefarious embrace. To avoid this, we should reconnect, meditate, and be mindful. We should seek sanctuary and go back to exactly where we belong— the immensity of the cosmos.
It is innate for us humans, to seek belongingness. Our very own Dr. Jose P. Rizal even said "It is a useless life that is not consecrated to a great ideal. It is like a stone wasted on the field without becoming part of an edifice."
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