For the past few months, I have spent my days dejected. Until now, I cannot fathom how my mind handled the barrage of stresses. It was like a day-to-day torment, not being exaggerated but my brain could explode anytime soon if that 'hideous' experience happens constantly. I thought I have already absconded from the specter, but when the night comes, supposedly a time for serenity turned into hours of distress.
I know, for instance, I am not the only one who feels the same way. I could affirm that everyone who undergoes mental disturbances at night has tried their very best to remain pacified. In some cases, they might tightly cover their mouth, evading to create strident noises. Suppressing emotions might be one of the hardest things to do because it deprives oneself of a sense of mental liberty. One of the most formidable things I have ever done in my life is to hold back my tears, just for the sake of not disturbing anyone near me. I am amazed at how emotions allow us to do things that we think are not contingent. These emotions are indeed imperative to be monitored and regulated, however, they also needed to be divested.
Have you ever been to a place, somber, where you barely see things? Have you ever felt that your eyes were useless because you can only use your hands to navigate? and have you ever heard voices that discourage you while you were struggling to keep track? if so... you might be lost in your thoughts.
People say that yourself is your greatest ally, but for once in our lives, we let our guard down and get derided by abrupt circumstances. We get emaciated by a myriad of things, it could be a failed relationship, broken family, financial shortage, death of loved ones, betrayal, infidelity, and other horsemen of overall downfalls. We live life so impeccable, deviating from the veracity that virulence could take place in a nick of time. As a result, we were not apt for negative ramifications. For some chances, people who get drastically affected have lost their sense of purpose, lost their fascination for things they used to be passionate about, and lost their track of desired destination. A grotesque experience that gets them entangled in a pit of trauma.
In a moment of extreme personal upheaval, my heart pounds as if it wants to free itself from my chest, tears dropping spontaneously. You were completely lost at the moment, sole in your head. The sadness envelops you with its gloomy arms, and fetters you like a slovenly slave. It feels desolate, it feels devoid, but you need to remember that you are greater and more powerful compared to what is trying to gormandize you. Time is your ally, and your mind is your foe. One of the popular psychologists yakked "We cannot control our circumstances, but our power lies in how we respond". In times of bleakness, we must compel ourselves to at least maintain our mobility. We should move forward and conquer, I certainly fathom it is hard. However, it is much austere to be left alone with nothing, to be perpetually maimed by negative emotions. We must also remember that we are not battling it alone. We have our companion, we just need to be the Vanguard. The specter ceases to feast on you, only if you refused.
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